Emotions and Divorce

Separating/divorcing – and the legal process of doing so – is one thing, but the practicalities of divorce go hand-in-hand with an emotional transition.

If proper attention isn’t paid to the emotional and mental side of divorce it can lead to a significant impact personally and any family who might be impacted by the decision – particularly children. 

There is no doubt that a life changing decision like separation can be very traumatic. The process will require important decisions to be made at a time when stress and hurt-feelings can cloud judgement, resulting in choices that might later be regretted. A decision made in a moment of anger, in the spur of the moment can mean a significant long-term loss – financially, in relationships with others and in future life prospects. 

It is the job of family lawyers to provide sound advice and take you through the legal process, but to also understand and work with the inevitable emotional stress. Without this expertise, achieving a positive result is far less likely.

The early stages of a divorce will bring significant anxiety, leading to disbelief, confusion, a feeling of helplessness, a sense of insecurity and – ultimately – loss of control. This is not a good time to be making decisions about your future and a good lawyer will recognise this.  You are unlikely to have to make urgent decisions about your future at this stage. It’s our job to give you clear information, emotional support and for you to get an understanding of the situation you are in.

Feelings of guilt are also common. Many clients will assume that they have done something wrong and start to blame themselves. Again, for anybody experiencing these feelings, it is not a good time to be making important decisions. 

While these feelings can seem to be all-consuming, experience has shown that – in the vast majority of cases – they are only temporary and do pass as the divorce process unfolds. Reaching a feeling of calm will make planning for the future easier and allow you to think about life after the divorce. This will also lead acceptance that, while things will inevitably be different, it doesn’t necessarily mean a change for the worse.

An experienced family lawyer will be able to help you through the emotional journey divorce can bring as well as introducing you to professionals who can provide extra support, should you need it. From that point, the process of evaluating, planning and executing the best legal support for you is a much easier, more effective process.

Lund Bennett Family Law Specialists offer a wide range of family law related services. Call us today and we can help.

0161 927 3118

What is a quickie divorce?

Anyone that reads celebrity news will have come across the term “quickie divorce” at some point over the years.

If you’ve read about Ant McPartlin, Cheryl Cole, Rowan Atkinson, or Louise Redknapp’s divorces, then you may be under the impression that they received special celebrity treatment, a divorce in just a matter of seconds!

These media reports about so called “quickie divorces” are actually very misleading, as all divorces go through the same process, no matter what your celebrity status.

So, what are the media actually referring to when they say that Cheryl Cole received “Britain’s fastest ever quickie divorce”, and was divorced in just 14 seconds?

The part of the divorce process that is being referred to here is how long it took the judge to read out the pronouncement of the first decree.

Once a couple receive the first decree, this does not mean that their divorce is complete, it is simply confirmation from the court that they agree there are grounds for a divorce.

The divorce will not be finalised until the decree absolute has been granted, and unless there are exceptional circumstances the couple must then wait a minimum of six weeks and one day before applying for the decree absolute.

Exceptional circumstances are considered on a case by case basis. The most common reasons for a decree absolute to be expedited is if one person is dying and wishes to divorce before they pass away, or if one party has moved onto a new relationship, is pregnant, and wishes to remarry before the baby is born. Celebrity status certainly doesn’t play a part!
Generally, all divorces in the UK take between 6 and 12 months to complete. If financial matters take a long time to resolve, then the process can take even longer.

For help or advice with filing for a divorce quickly and efficiently, give our team of solicitors here at Lund Bennett a call on 0161 927 3118.

How much does it cost to get a divorce?

When getting a divorce, the cost of the process probably isn’t the first thing on your mind, but it is certainly something that you should consider.
Over recent years, the cost of court fees has risen, bumping up the price of filing for a divorce.
It’s not just the immediate cost of the divorce process that couples should prepare for though, they must also plan for other hidden expenses that they may face as a result of the divorce.

The cost of filing for a divorce
The price you can expect to pay when filing for a divorce will vary depending on several factors, including:
• Whether you are the divorce petitioner or respondent (the person applying for the divorce or their spouse).
• Whether you use a solicitor or a DIY divorce service.
• Whether your divorce is contested or uncontested.
• Whether your divorce involves a financial settlement and, if so, the complexity of the settlement.
• Whether you require divorce mediation.

Divorce centre fee

No matter what the circumstances of your divorce and the route you take when filing it, you will be required to pay a fee of £550 to the divorce centre to cover the cost of court fees upon applying for your divorce.

Solicitor fees
It is possible to fill out and apply for your divorce without the help of a solicitor to save yourself some money. Bear in mind though that this can be a stressful and complicated process which could prolong the process of getting divorced. If your divorce requires a financial settlement, then you will also require legal help with this.
On average, using a solicitor to apply for a divorce costs between £1000 and £1500.
This cost will increase if you and your partner cannot come to an agreement about finances.

The hidden lifestyle costs of divorce
The hidden costs of divorce are those associated with getting your life back on track after the divorce has been finalised.

The extent of these costs will depend on:
• Whether you owned property together.
• Whether you have any children.

Some of the hidden costs of divorce to plan and prepare for include:
• Moving house.
• Buying a new property.
• Redecorating.
• Child maintenance.
• Buying a new vehicle.
• Childcare costs.
• Buying new furniture and electrical goods.

For help or advice with filing for a divorce quickly and efficiently, give our team of solicitors here at Lund Bennett a call on 0161 927 3118.

New study shows that 7.6 Million Parents Stay Together Because Of Their Kids

A new study has indicated that over a fifth of parents have stayed in a relationship for longer than they wanted to for the sake of their children.

On average, parents stayed together an additional five and a half years because of their children, when they would have otherwise split up.

Also, parents are staying in relationships for over half a decade longer than they would have if it wasn’t for their children.

Interestingly, the study, which was commissioned by Direct Line Insurance, also demonstrated a division between men and women on their reasons for staying together. The main reason for men is because they believe it is better for children to have two parents living at home (46 per cent), while for women it is because they cannot afford to separate with the other parent (31 per cent). This highlights the financial challenges many families, and especially women, can face when splitting up as the previous combined household income then needs to stretch across two properties and often cover additional childcare costs too.

There is a clear generational difference, with parents now over the age of 55 believing they stayed in a relationship for nearly seven years longer due to their kids, compared to just over three years for parents currently under the age of 35. It shows how attitudes are changing towards break-ups and relationships where children are involved.

If you have a family law query, then please contact our team at Lund Bennett Law LLP on 0161 924 0079.

Fashion doesn’t need to cost the earth

Kirsten Bennett, one of the founding partners at Lund Bennett Law LLP has pledged to spend all of 2020 without buying any new clothes.

Any items of clothing she purchases over the coming year will be sourced from either vintage fairs or through clothes swaps. This follows a growing awareness internationally of the negative impact that the fashion industry is having on the environment. Textile dyeing is currently the second largest polluter of water globally and it can take around 2,000 gallons of water to make a standard pair of jeans.

Fast fashion is also having an impact on sustainability as people are not keeping clothes for as long as they used to. The modus operandi for a lot of people nowadays is to buy clothes cheap, wear them a few times before discarding them. The sheer number of clothes consumers are buying has also increased. Between 2000 and 2014, clothing production doubled, with the average consumer buying 60 percent more pieces of garment compared to 15 years ago. Yet, each clothing item is now kept for half as long.

People are more widely becoming concerned about where clothing comes from, who is making it and what conditions they are working in. There is a reason why some brands are able to sell their clothing is sold so cheap and this runs back through the production line, sometimes with workers having to suffer shocking conditions.

Kirsten Bennett, Partner, Lund Bennett Law LLP said:

“Over the past 6 months I have completely changed my outlook in terms of wider issues of sustainability”.

“There are so many good quality pieces of fashion that are available. It’s also great that more brands are embracing the need to change their policies on waste and recycling.”

Lund Bennett Law LLP will be providing updates on Kirsten’s journey through sustainable fashion throughout 2020.

How long does it take to get a divorce?

If you and your partner have decided to get a divorce, you’ll probably want to get things settled as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Unfortunately, getting a divorce can sometimes be complicated and the timescales for getting one can vary significantly.

How long it will take from filing for a divorce to receiving your decree absolute is dependent on several factors including:

How quickly you reach an agreement
If you and your partner reach a straightforward agreement, then this is called an uncontested divorce. Uncontested divorces are usually much quicker to settle than contested divorce.

If you cannot reach an agreement about the terms of your divorce, then you will be required to attend mediation followed by court if the dispute still cannot be resolved. This can cause the process to drag on and take much longer than an uncontested divorce.

Whether any children are involved

If you and your partner have children, then it may take longer to iron out all the terms of your divorce relating to custody and child maintenance payments.

How many assets are owned
The more assets that you and your partner own, the more complicated and time-consuming the process of dividing your assets is likely to be. Just some of the assets that will need to be considered include property, savings, pensions, and vehicles.

How busy the Court of Administration’s processing centre is
Even if you come to an agreement quickly and fill out and return all documentation promptly, if the Court of Administration’s processing centre is very busy and have a backlog of work, this can hold things up.

Average timescale for a divorce in the UK

Once an agreement has been reached and a divorce has been filed for, the average time to receive a decree absolute is around 12 months.

For further help or advice with divorce law or beginning divorce proceedings, give our team of family law solicitors here at Lund Bennett a call on 0161 927 3118.

What evidence can be used during divorce proceedings?

During divorce proceedings you will be required to give evidence to support all information and claims you make.

When applying for a divorce, you will need to provide proof that your marriage has irretrievably broken down for one of the following reasons:
• Adultery
• Unreasonable behaviour
• Desertion
• Two years separation with your spouse’s consent; or
• Five years separation, whether your spouse consents or not

The evidence and documentation you provide will be used to prove your grounds for a divorce and help to fairly divide assets and make important decisions regarding custody and maintenance costs for any children involved in the case.

Types of evidence that may be required to support your case

Financial
• Bank statements
• Tax returns
• Salary information
• Details of property owned
• Details of assets owned
• Details of any debts

Children
• School records
• Your child’s medical records

Reasons for divorce (eg. domestic violence or adultery)

• Photos
• Text messages
• Social media posts and messages

As well as physical documentation and evidence, you may also provide evidence verbally through your own testimony and witness testimonies by friends, family and experts.
Hearsay is not acceptable as evidence.

What should not be included as evidence?

• Confidential documents/letters obtained without permission.
• Private emails, social media messages and text messages obtained without permission.

Intercepting confidential letters or communications and hacking into a person’s private digital accounts is illegal, so any evidence obtained this way cannot be included in proceedings.

You can, however, include any physical or digital communications that you have received yourself.

All of your evidence should be given to your solicitor during the preparation of your case so that it can be included in your exhibit list and properly introduced during the court case.

For further help or advice with divorce law or beginning divorce proceedings, give our team of family law solicitors here at Lund Bennett a call on 0161 927 3118.

What does the New Year mean for your relationship?

Now the decorations have come down and people have recovered from the Christmas festivities is the time that families reflect on what they want to achieve from the year ahead.

Sadly, for many this means a decision to separate from a marriage or a partnership. A New Year, and for 2020 a new decade, can have a strange effect on people and give them a boost to make and implement life changing decisions.

These should never be taken likely and it is always upsetting when a relationship breaks down, particularly when children are involved.

In 2019, there were hopes that there would be widespread reform of the divorce system within England and Wales. Due to complications around Brexit and the snap General Election, these proposals were put on hold and their future remains uncertain. Those hoping to initiate proceedings under a ‘no fault’ divorce will have to use the grounds under the current system, which are: Adultery, Unreasonable Behaviour, Desertion – 2 continuous years, 2 years separation with consent and 5 years separation – no consent required.

There is however an exciting shake up to the laws surrounding relationships in 2020 for heterosexual couples. For the first time they will have with the ability to choose whether to enter into a marriage or a civil partnership, which has previously only been available to same-sex couples. It will be interesting to see how many take advantage of this option throughout the year.

Maybe people we advise feel a sense of loss or embarrassment over the breakdown of their relationship. Our approach is to listen to our clients and provide non-judgmental and pragmatic support and guidance during an initial consultation and throughout the process.

If you have a family law query, then please contact our team at Lund Bennett Law LLP on 0161 924 0079.

Why do divorce rates increase after Christmas?

January is the most popular time of year for starting divorce proceedings, so what is it about Christmas that pushes so many couples to breaking point?

January 7th is dubbed ‘divorce day’ in the UK, as many couples take the first step towards accepting that their relationship isn’t working by seeking advice about getting a divorce.

But what is it about Christmas and the new year that pushes so many couples over the edge?

Stress and pressure of the festive season
For many people, Christmas is the busiest and most stressful time of the year. With lots of events to attend, guests to entertain, meals to plan and gifts to buy, it’s easy to get stressed out by all the planning and preparation and forget to spend time together.

Failing to communicate or compromise effectively can also cause major clashes over Christmas plans and finances.

Time spent with in-laws
Christmas can mean spending more time with family and in-laws than usual which can cause tensions to run high. Existing tensions with in-laws can come to a head, causing arguments and testing loyalties between couples.

Alcohol
Any existing problems in the relationship can be amplified when under the influence of alcohol. With alcohol flowing more freely over the festive period, many couples find themselves having more frequent and explosive disagreements over Christmas.

Putting on a brave face for Christmas
Many struggling couples, particularly those with children, grin and bear it over the festive period so as not to upset anyone.

New year, new start

The new year marks new beginnings, and many people use it as a time to make big changes in their lives for the year ahead. For some couples this may mean admitting that their relationship isn’t working and it’s time to part ways.

For help or advice with divorce law this Christmas or new year, give our team of family law solicitors a call on 0161 927 3118.