Research shows that the divorce rate among people over 50 has doubled in the UK since 1990, with experts expecting this to triple by 2030.
Here at Lund Bennett we are here to support you through your separation.
Whatever your circumstances, going through a divorce can be incredibly difficult, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by the process.
This can be particularly true for couples divorcing later in life who’ve laid down deep roots – including children, a home, and an entire network of loved ones. There can also be more complex financial issues that need to be considered.
However, while divorce inevitably causes a certain amount of disruption and change to families, there are still things you can do to help make the process as amicable as possible.Our experts at Lund Bennett will cover some of these below.
Avoid playing the blame game
Divorce is a a very emotional process for most people. But if you want to get through it as amicably and swiftly as possible, it’s best to avoid blaming each other. Instead, try to approach divorce as a shared problem, rather than someone’s fault.
The type of language used can also have a powerful impact on the atmosphere of a divorce in later life. For example, instead of seeing your marriage as a failure, consider reframing it as something that’s simply run its course and you both enjoyed the time you had together. This can help both partners look towards the future more positively.
In the same way, if you have children together, try to think about how you can approach family situations not as exes, but as co-parents instead so that your children are not directly effected.
Often, these steps can make all the difference to how amicable a divorce process is. Though, we do understand that this approach isn’t possible in all situations.
Work out how to divide your finances
If you decide to separate or divorce, you’ll need to reach an agreement with your partner on how to divide your finances. This includes everything from money and debt to property and pensions.
There are a number of ways you can reach an agreement, and each has its own pros and cons. For example, some couples come to an agreement without professional help – a method known as a ‘kitchen table’ agreement. Though, while cost-effective, this option isn’t legally binding.
Other options include mediation, negotiation specialists, and solicitors. If you’re unable to reach an agreement, you can go to court where a judge will decide for you. However, as the most expensive and typically unharmonious option, this should ideally only be used as a last resort.
Try to avoid rushing your partner through the process
If you want to divorce amicably, one of the most important things you can do is avoid rushing your partner through the process, divorce is a big life change and different people will react differently.
As with any major life change, divorce is a journey of emotions and it’s unlikely that you and your partner will always be on the same page.
Whoever initiated the divorce has probably had more time to get used to the idea of separating and may already be considering solutions and alternatives. Meanwhile, the other may still be working through the acceptance stage and feel emotionally vulnerable. Even in cases where the decision to divorce is mutual, it’s still unlikely that you’ll both be in the same place emotionally all the time.
Emotions like shock, anger, and denial can all get in the way of an amicable divorce and make it difficult to reach agreements. Ultimately, the more you rush the other person, the slower the process is likely to be, so try your best to be understanding.