Divorce is a difficult and painful process for anyone to go through. Though loved ones may want to help, it’s hard if you haven’t experienced divorce firsthand. But don’t worry — by lending an empathetic ear and providing reliable support, friends or family members can provide invaluable strength during such challenging times!
We’ve compiled a guide that goes beyond platitudes and shares advice on how to offer more meaningful support to someone going through divorce.
What to say to someone going through divorce
If you have a friend or loved one going through divorce, it can be hard to find the right words of support. Showing your understanding and compassion without saying something that might further upset them is no easy task – but there are definitely ways to express care in this difficult time.
While it’s not a good idea to press for details, it is okay to ask questions like how are you doing, how have you been feeling, would you like to talk about things? But remember not to take it personally if they don’t want to talk.
Take the initiative and be proactive in finding ways to lend a hand. Don’t wait for tasks or instructions; take it upon yourself to come up with small, meaningful gestures that will make an impact. Every action counts!
Follow their lead. Your friend may feel relieved and optimistic about the future so mirror their language and tone.
What not to say to someone going through divorce
While it’s tempting to criticise an ex, it’s important to remain supportive and understanding when a friend confides in you about their relationship. As much as your opinion may differ from theirs, voicing those opinions could damage the trust between you both or cause hurt feelings that are difficult for friendship relationships to recover from.
Think before you share updates about your partner, family, and lifestyle. Does your friend need to hear about your idyllic day out or listen to your frustrations about your partner?
Showing true understanding can go a long way – instead of conveying sympathy or pity, try to empathise with your friend in difficult times. Acknowledging their strength and resilience will make them feel appreciated!
Be supportive of your friend’s choices, even if you disagree. Now is not the time to tell them you think they’ve made a mistake.
Choose your language carefully and avoid out-dated or stereotypical terms like ‘broken home’ and ‘divorcee’.
Keep inviting them out, even if they say no
Divorce can be hard on all parties involved, including their friends. When a friend goes through it, they may find that the social ties originally formed alongside an ex-partner are no longer as strong – leaving them feeling disconnected from people who were once close to them. No matter what though, connection with loved ones is essential; even in times of great change and upheaval!
By showing up now when your friend is going through a challenging time you let them know that you’re here for them and that they can count on your friendship.
Don’t be discouraged if your invitations are not accepted right away – keep including those individuals in future plans. Ultimately, they will come to realize that you’re a trustworthy source of companionship when the timing is right!
More tips to follow in our next blog..