{"id":1383,"date":"2023-12-13T14:48:36","date_gmt":"2023-12-13T14:48:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/?p=1383"},"modified":"2023-12-13T14:48:36","modified_gmt":"2023-12-13T14:48:36","slug":"telling-children-youre-separating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/telling-children-youre-separating\/","title":{"rendered":"Telling children you&#8217;re separating"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>Tips for telling children you&#8217;re separating<\/h2>\n<p>Your children\u2019s needs will depend upon their age and development, but you may find the following advice for breaking the news of your separation helpful:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Avoid giving your children details they don\u2019t need, such as information about affairs.<\/li>\n<li>Use language your children will understand.<\/li>\n<li>Reassure your children that it\u2019s OK to be upset and use words and cuddles to comfort. Let them know you both still love them and your separation is not their fault.<\/li>\n<li>Describe how your children\u2019s world will change from their point of view, e.g. \u201cDaddy will still pick you up from school but won\u2019t be here to put you to bed.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t be afraid to say you don\u2019t know the answer to something. You can tell your children you\u2019ll find out, or that when you know you\u2019ll tell them.<\/li>\n<li>Let them know they can talk to you again if they want to, or ask questions at a later time.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It can help to remain in familiar surroundings after you&#8217;ve told your children about your separation, and for both parents to be around afterwards.<\/p>\n<p>If one parent is leaving, tell the children when this will be, where they\u2019ll be going, when they\u2019ll see them again and how they can be contacted when they\u2019re not around.<\/p>\n<p>It can help to think about yourself at the same age your child is now. Try  working through these questions and plan what the \u2018child you\u2019 would have preferred:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What were your favourite hobbies or activities?<\/li>\n<li>How did you communicate with people \u2013 were you a chatty or a quiet child?<\/li>\n<li>Were you tactile or reserved?<\/li>\n<li>Were you sensitive or unfazed by emotional situations?<\/li>\n<li>Now imagine what you as a young child would need, want or like from an adult that was trying to talk to you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Engaging with your \u2018child self\u2019 in this way, may help you to engage with what your child wants when you come to talking with them about difficult topics.<\/p>\n<h2>Telling young children you&#8217;re separating<\/h2>\n<p>The age of your children will affect how you talk to them. You may find the following helpful for talking to young children:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Plan to be in familiar surrounding, where they feel comfortable.<\/li>\n<li>Aim for \u201clittle but often\u201d. It can be hard for young children to concentrate.<\/li>\n<li>Offer games, drawing or another play activity for your children to keep their eyes on while they talk to you. This can also help you manage the length of your conversation.<\/li>\n<li>Help your children understand emotions by using physical descriptions. For example, they may understand \u201cfrustrated\u201d or \u201cworried\u201d better if they&#8217;re described as a tummy ache, or a twisting, scrunching feeling.<\/li>\n<li>Get creative. If it\u2019s hard for your children to use words to identify or describe their feelings you could, for example, ask them to do a drawing or to act out their feelings. Comment on what they do and what you like about it. Say if you feel the same too.<\/li>\n<li>Sum up what your children say to check you\u2019ve understood them properly and show you\u2019re really listening.<\/li>\n<li>Let your children know that whatever they\u2019re feeling it\u2019s OK.<\/li>\n<li>Avoid speaking badly of your children\u2019s other parent. It may put them off talking to you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tips for telling children you&#8217;re separating Your children\u2019s needs will depend upon their age and development, but you may find the following advice for breaking the news of your separation helpful: Avoid giving your children details they don\u2019t need, such as information about affairs. Use language your children will understand. Reassure your children that it\u2019s&hellip;&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/telling-children-youre-separating\/\" rel=\"bookmark\">Read More &raquo;<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Telling children you&#8217;re separating<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":993,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"off","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[170,400,369,10,370,219,312],"tags":[3,12,13,58,49,169,42,220,11,9,19,339],"class_list":["post-1383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-law","category-divorce-lawyer","category-divorce-lawyers","category-family-law","category-family-lawyers","category-family-mediation","category-family-solicitor","tag-divorce-law","tag-divorce-laws","tag-divorce-lawyer","tag-divorce-settlements","tag-divorce-solicitors","tag-family-law","tag-family-law-lawyers-altrincham","tag-family-mediation","tag-family-solicitor","tag-lund-bennett","tag-lund-bennett-law","tag-lund-bennett-law-llp"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1383"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1384,"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383\/revisions\/1384"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/993"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lundbennett.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}